I figured I should update since I haven't in awhile. Not that my life is terribly exciting, because its not. But alas, things have happened since my last post.
Well, I started back up at National Premium this Monday. I decided to take on a part time job in the mornings, Monday through Friday, so that I can earn extra cash. I wasn't getting any closing shifts at work, which is where you make the money. So I figured I could off set that a little bit. But since doing that, I've been asked to work closing shifts twice now. Damn the luck! If I knew I didn't have to be up at the butt crack of dawn, I would be ALL over that. Of course...Murphy's Law. So now I just open at the bar and work mornings at National Premium. But of course, I'll most likely be working every weekend at the bar as well. (Working 7 days a week? Me?!?!)
The computer has been down for about two weeks now....but its back up and running like new!! Needed a new video card. But, I feel better now that I don't have to use Beaky's computer to do my surfing. I can now wake up and check PerezHilton.com (Its addicting!!!) I am saddened that I have to re-download 2,000 songs again. le sigh.
Other than that, not much else is new here. OH! Mikey is coming to town this weekend!!! I tried taking off on Saturday, but they had none of that. So I work the opening shift and hopefully I'll get to see him sometime Saturday night!!
9.25.2007
9.19.2007
9.18.2007
Hrm.
You know how sometimes you go through your day to day life thinking that you know exactly what you want...but in the end you know that you actually know nothing of what you want/need?
I'm starting to separate wants from needs. I'm starting to figure out what will be good for me in the long run and what will I just be satisfied with at the moment. I used to think decisions that affected other people in my life were so easy. But they are the worst ones to make. Sometimes it's easier than others (such as when Aaron and I got back together this last time....I couldn't NOT have him in my life which was a sure sign of how I really felt. Our relationship since then has been wonderfully awesome!) So that decision was the biggest easiest decision. But from there, its grasping what I need to do to better myself and the people around me.
For instance food. Is it important? Yes. Do I need to continue killing myself over it? No. Heck no. It's easier to eat out but in the end, is it doing me ANY good? No. I need to lose weight so I must start eating better. Its like I constantly tell myself that people will love me the way I am ..... which is true. But is it right for me to keep eating this way? NO. NO. NO. I'm overweight and SOMETHING needs to be done. I can't just throw my arms up and say, " Well, this is how I am. Take it or leave it ". I'm not healthy and I don't want to become a statistic.
I haven't been watching TV for the past 3 months. I think that's a good start. I haven't sat down at a TV and watched it until it was time for bed. I'm always up and doing something at least a tad bit better than turning my brain into even more mush. With so many trails and fun things to do around here, there should never be a time where I actually have time to watch it. (apple picking...pumpkin carving)
So I guess here is my New Years (Life?) Resolution. Here is to not just a year of bettering Tianna...but to a life time of taking baby steps to a me who makes better choices. Here is to a new beginning of loving who I am ...but continuing to improve myself. Here is to taking care of the ONE thing I should REALLY care about: my body, whether I like it or not, that I am forced to live with for the rest of my life.
I'm starting to separate wants from needs. I'm starting to figure out what will be good for me in the long run and what will I just be satisfied with at the moment. I used to think decisions that affected other people in my life were so easy. But they are the worst ones to make. Sometimes it's easier than others (such as when Aaron and I got back together this last time....I couldn't NOT have him in my life which was a sure sign of how I really felt. Our relationship since then has been wonderfully awesome!) So that decision was the biggest easiest decision. But from there, its grasping what I need to do to better myself and the people around me.
For instance food. Is it important? Yes. Do I need to continue killing myself over it? No. Heck no. It's easier to eat out but in the end, is it doing me ANY good? No. I need to lose weight so I must start eating better. Its like I constantly tell myself that people will love me the way I am ..... which is true. But is it right for me to keep eating this way? NO. NO. NO. I'm overweight and SOMETHING needs to be done. I can't just throw my arms up and say, " Well, this is how I am. Take it or leave it ". I'm not healthy and I don't want to become a statistic.
I haven't been watching TV for the past 3 months. I think that's a good start. I haven't sat down at a TV and watched it until it was time for bed. I'm always up and doing something at least a tad bit better than turning my brain into even more mush. With so many trails and fun things to do around here, there should never be a time where I actually have time to watch it. (apple picking...pumpkin carving)
So I guess here is my New Years (Life?) Resolution. Here is to not just a year of bettering Tianna...but to a life time of taking baby steps to a me who makes better choices. Here is to a new beginning of loving who I am ...but continuing to improve myself. Here is to taking care of the ONE thing I should REALLY care about: my body, whether I like it or not, that I am forced to live with for the rest of my life.
9.17.2007
Weekend recap
Hello, folks!
Just thought I would put out a weekend update! It wasn't a busy busy weekend...but had fun, nonetheless!
Friday was an awesome day. The weather was perfect. It was probably about 65 and sunny. The air had a crispness about it that only brings great memories. I love this time of year for just that. I can wear jeans, a sweatshirt, and flip flops and be comfortable. But anyway, mostly it reminds me of apple picking and taking a Sunday drive along the Mississippi with my family. So, to me, it was the perfect day.
Friday night we decided to go to Ryan's house. We had no alcohol so about quarter of nine we walked to the liquor store. (Literally a 3 minute walk. We are RIGHT next to it). We spent a lot of time deciding on what to get. We went there with a mindset of Malibu and Pineapple ...but left with Vodka Cranberry. Not bad, though. Aaron had never had it before and really liked it!
We then drove to Ryan's condo around 9:30. We didn't get there until about ten after ten. Let me tell you....that was a long long long long drive. He's on like 60th and Calumet....and we're in Waukesha. Wowsa. Anyhoo, we got there made drinks and Aaron helped Ryan move a couch into the living room while Beaky and I attacked the taco dip!! After several rounds of taco dip and refilling our drinks, we decided to watch a movie. Ryan has a projection TV (SO COOL!) so it was neat watching it on there!! They had rented Wild Hogs and Blades of Glory. Since Aaron and I had already seen Blades of Glory, we decided on Wild Hogs. There are some really funny moments in that movie! But once it was over, we decided that it was time to go. It was two o'clock in the morning!
Saturday I had to work. I was the opening shift so I got out of there at a decent time. Andrea had called and asked if we wanted to go to Boomers (bar in Pewaukee) .....why not!? We hadn't been there since we moved to Waukesha! So Aaron and I meet up with Andrea and later Jo Jo and her friend. It was a good night. Drank a Ro-Jo (Raspberry Stoli, tonic, and a splash of orange juice). So. Good. But the funniest part of the evening was when I was in the bathroom. Overheard a conversation:
Girl One: What does it mean to find yourself?
Girl Two: I don't know. I think it means when you figure out how many kids you want!
Girl One: Oh, ok. I get it.
*slaps head*
Sunday was a bit exciting. Not much happened, but the anticipation was all there. I had gotten to work around noon and saw a tour bus sitting outside. I was thinking, " What rock star is staying here?!?! " I get in and ask the front desk girl who that bus belongs to and ever so happily she says, " Carlton!!!!...You know, Alfonzo!! " How COOL is that!?!?!? So I was hoping that at one point I was going to run into him....but I never did. I missed him when I was outside smoking. STUPID STUPID HABBIT!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone was kind of stressed out yesterday. We had a wedding going on and we had our number one client in there, Harley. Harley Davidson has been with us for YEARS apparently and they are our number one client. And these guys were the "guys who signed the checks". So since we had two big things going on, everyone was just freaking out. They anticipated that the bar was going to be super busy so I, of course, start feaking out. Turns out that it was incredibly slow. We had Harley in the bar, but not everyone was drinking. Everything was calm and under control. So I left around 8:00PM. Nice solid 8 hours of work in ....but I only made $68 dollars. =(
Well, that's about all she wrote. Nothing terribly exciting happened ...but the anticipation for something extremely exciting was all there!! Which, I guess, at times can be just as good!
I hope everyone else had a fantastic weekend and enjoyed the beautiful weather!!
Just thought I would put out a weekend update! It wasn't a busy busy weekend...but had fun, nonetheless!
Friday was an awesome day. The weather was perfect. It was probably about 65 and sunny. The air had a crispness about it that only brings great memories. I love this time of year for just that. I can wear jeans, a sweatshirt, and flip flops and be comfortable. But anyway, mostly it reminds me of apple picking and taking a Sunday drive along the Mississippi with my family. So, to me, it was the perfect day.
Friday night we decided to go to Ryan's house. We had no alcohol so about quarter of nine we walked to the liquor store. (Literally a 3 minute walk. We are RIGHT next to it). We spent a lot of time deciding on what to get. We went there with a mindset of Malibu and Pineapple ...but left with Vodka Cranberry. Not bad, though. Aaron had never had it before and really liked it!
We then drove to Ryan's condo around 9:30. We didn't get there until about ten after ten. Let me tell you....that was a long long long long drive. He's on like 60th and Calumet....and we're in Waukesha. Wowsa. Anyhoo, we got there made drinks and Aaron helped Ryan move a couch into the living room while Beaky and I attacked the taco dip!! After several rounds of taco dip and refilling our drinks, we decided to watch a movie. Ryan has a projection TV (SO COOL!) so it was neat watching it on there!! They had rented Wild Hogs and Blades of Glory. Since Aaron and I had already seen Blades of Glory, we decided on Wild Hogs. There are some really funny moments in that movie! But once it was over, we decided that it was time to go. It was two o'clock in the morning!
Saturday I had to work. I was the opening shift so I got out of there at a decent time. Andrea had called and asked if we wanted to go to Boomers (bar in Pewaukee) .....why not!? We hadn't been there since we moved to Waukesha! So Aaron and I meet up with Andrea and later Jo Jo and her friend. It was a good night. Drank a Ro-Jo (Raspberry Stoli, tonic, and a splash of orange juice). So. Good. But the funniest part of the evening was when I was in the bathroom. Overheard a conversation:
Girl One: What does it mean to find yourself?
Girl Two: I don't know. I think it means when you figure out how many kids you want!
Girl One: Oh, ok. I get it.
*slaps head*
Sunday was a bit exciting. Not much happened, but the anticipation was all there. I had gotten to work around noon and saw a tour bus sitting outside. I was thinking, " What rock star is staying here?!?! " I get in and ask the front desk girl who that bus belongs to and ever so happily she says, " Carlton!!!!...You know, Alfonzo!! " How COOL is that!?!?!? So I was hoping that at one point I was going to run into him....but I never did. I missed him when I was outside smoking. STUPID STUPID HABBIT!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone was kind of stressed out yesterday. We had a wedding going on and we had our number one client in there, Harley. Harley Davidson has been with us for YEARS apparently and they are our number one client. And these guys were the "guys who signed the checks". So since we had two big things going on, everyone was just freaking out. They anticipated that the bar was going to be super busy so I, of course, start feaking out. Turns out that it was incredibly slow. We had Harley in the bar, but not everyone was drinking. Everything was calm and under control. So I left around 8:00PM. Nice solid 8 hours of work in ....but I only made $68 dollars. =(
Well, that's about all she wrote. Nothing terribly exciting happened ...but the anticipation for something extremely exciting was all there!! Which, I guess, at times can be just as good!
I hope everyone else had a fantastic weekend and enjoyed the beautiful weather!!
9.15.2007
9.12.2007
Happy Birthday, Mom.
Today would have been my Mom's 51st birthday. Its almost as if there is a hush around me. Things are quite and peaceful right now.
Sometimes I still think its just a dream. She's/they're still alive and I will be able to call her up and go to Denny's. (One of her favorite places to go). I remember in the hopsital the day before she passed away ....I remember looking at her thinking, " This is the best she's looked in years! " She was for once relaxed. I mean, all due to the stroke ....but still.
I remember before she went in for that last surgery I was coming back from Minneapolis. I stopped in Madison to see her and she wanted me to bring Culvers. She was SO happy to see me and I was SO annoyed being there. I was short, rude, and didn't stay very long. I feel so guilty. I couldn't even spend that last night there with her talking about how afraid she was of the surgery....because I had something better to do???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! I needed to be there for my Mom when she was scared. I needed her there because I was scared!
The next day was her surgery. The doctors came up and said that the surgery went well. We were all relieved. He said that she would be up in her room in 10 minutes and we can go visit her then. That 10 minutes turned into 20....which turned into an hour. Something was wrong. We all knew it. We sat there, though, waiting for someone to tell us something.
The doctor came in and asked to speak with my grandparents. This wasn't going to be good. There was a stroke.
The next time I saw her, her head was wrapped up and she had a tube (that is supposed to be running clear fluids out of her head) but it was blood. She layed there motionless. She had a couple good days here and there, but never did return her speech.
The decision to cut life support was the worst. It was in the Will that they set up...and she even told the doctors this before her surgery. So we obeyed her wants.
We one on one said our goodbyes. I remember holding her hand, telling her I love her and feeling her squeeze my hand when I would say it. I knew she was still in there ...but she would never be able to walk, talk, or even possibly open her eyes again. I guess that's what the hardest part was. Knowing she could hear me and not do anything but squeeze my hand!!! I told her to squeeze my hand according to what I was saying, " Squeeze my hand if you...." or " don't squeeze my hand if..." I asked her if she understood what was going on. She squeezed my hand as to say "yes, I understand". I asked her if she wanted to be with Dad.....she squeezed.
I guess I just miss them terribly. I would say 90% of the time I don't believe its true. None of it. I believe that one day I will be able to drive up the hill in Durand, turn onto our street and pull up next to the house. I believe that I will be able to walk up the vertical driveway, open our front door and have my parents drinking coffee in their chairs, just happy to have me home.
Sometimes I still think its just a dream. She's/they're still alive and I will be able to call her up and go to Denny's. (One of her favorite places to go). I remember in the hopsital the day before she passed away ....I remember looking at her thinking, " This is the best she's looked in years! " She was for once relaxed. I mean, all due to the stroke ....but still.
I remember before she went in for that last surgery I was coming back from Minneapolis. I stopped in Madison to see her and she wanted me to bring Culvers. She was SO happy to see me and I was SO annoyed being there. I was short, rude, and didn't stay very long. I feel so guilty. I couldn't even spend that last night there with her talking about how afraid she was of the surgery....because I had something better to do???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! I needed to be there for my Mom when she was scared. I needed her there because I was scared!
The next day was her surgery. The doctors came up and said that the surgery went well. We were all relieved. He said that she would be up in her room in 10 minutes and we can go visit her then. That 10 minutes turned into 20....which turned into an hour. Something was wrong. We all knew it. We sat there, though, waiting for someone to tell us something.
The doctor came in and asked to speak with my grandparents. This wasn't going to be good. There was a stroke.
The next time I saw her, her head was wrapped up and she had a tube (that is supposed to be running clear fluids out of her head) but it was blood. She layed there motionless. She had a couple good days here and there, but never did return her speech.
The decision to cut life support was the worst. It was in the Will that they set up...and she even told the doctors this before her surgery. So we obeyed her wants.
We one on one said our goodbyes. I remember holding her hand, telling her I love her and feeling her squeeze my hand when I would say it. I knew she was still in there ...but she would never be able to walk, talk, or even possibly open her eyes again. I guess that's what the hardest part was. Knowing she could hear me and not do anything but squeeze my hand!!! I told her to squeeze my hand according to what I was saying, " Squeeze my hand if you...." or " don't squeeze my hand if..." I asked her if she understood what was going on. She squeezed my hand as to say "yes, I understand". I asked her if she wanted to be with Dad.....she squeezed.
I guess I just miss them terribly. I would say 90% of the time I don't believe its true. None of it. I believe that one day I will be able to drive up the hill in Durand, turn onto our street and pull up next to the house. I believe that I will be able to walk up the vertical driveway, open our front door and have my parents drinking coffee in their chairs, just happy to have me home.
9.11.2007
1, 2, 3 awwwwwww!
I was bored today on the internet...so I looked up videos of kittens. (shush!). But I came across this cute video of two little kittens. But now I want another cat. I can't help but wonder if this is how Moms react to babies. They see a baby and want another one. ?
The funniest part about this video happens at 5 seconds into it. The white kitty kind of hops around. Its hilarious!
Ok, enough with the adorable post.
The funniest part about this video happens at 5 seconds into it. The white kitty kind of hops around. Its hilarious!
Ok, enough with the adorable post.
9.09.2007
ho hum.
Ok, ok. I *may* have overstressed tonight a bit....... Ok, a lot.
When I got to work I noticed the bar PACKED. I mean, wall to wall people over flowing into the restaurant area. Noticed that I was not the only bartender working. Ryan was scheduled at 1PM (Whoops! Failed to notice that on the schedule!!). But it dramatically shifted from steady to ghost town USA. So he left around 7PM and we both made a dismal $50 each during that time.
The rest of the evening was worse. It was incredibly slow!!! Nobody was drinking at all. Which is good and bad. Left the place making an even $100. Booooo. =( BUT, bright side, I did make the best Chocolate Martini EVER. Dang that thing was goooooood!!!!! (I tried the left over from the shaker). Oh, and I got a bunch of compliments on my bartending tonight. Phew.
Anyhoo, long story short: I overstress things too much. I just need to take it slow, take it easy, take a rest. (Where is my Aunt Kathie for that one?) Haha!
Annnnndd....I'm out.
PS. Hi to Linda!!!
When I got to work I noticed the bar PACKED. I mean, wall to wall people over flowing into the restaurant area. Noticed that I was not the only bartender working. Ryan was scheduled at 1PM (Whoops! Failed to notice that on the schedule!!). But it dramatically shifted from steady to ghost town USA. So he left around 7PM and we both made a dismal $50 each during that time.
The rest of the evening was worse. It was incredibly slow!!! Nobody was drinking at all. Which is good and bad. Left the place making an even $100. Booooo. =( BUT, bright side, I did make the best Chocolate Martini EVER. Dang that thing was goooooood!!!!! (I tried the left over from the shaker). Oh, and I got a bunch of compliments on my bartending tonight. Phew.
Anyhoo, long story short: I overstress things too much. I just need to take it slow, take it easy, take a rest. (Where is my Aunt Kathie for that one?) Haha!
Annnnndd....I'm out.
PS. Hi to Linda!!!
9.08.2007
OH.MY.GOLLY
Miss Molly.....Ha!
I am so nervous for tonight. (read: one hour from now). I am the sole bartender for the bar tonight, as we have 5 or 6 banquets going on at the Double Tree tonight. Every other bartender is busy with a banquet....so I have the bar. By myself. All night. I will be swamped tonight with drunkoids and I just hope (REALLY HOPE) that I can do well for them. Please let this night pass quickly!!!!!
T minus 8 minutes until I leave....
ACK!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so nervous for tonight. (read: one hour from now). I am the sole bartender for the bar tonight, as we have 5 or 6 banquets going on at the Double Tree tonight. Every other bartender is busy with a banquet....so I have the bar. By myself. All night. I will be swamped tonight with drunkoids and I just hope (REALLY HOPE) that I can do well for them. Please let this night pass quickly!!!!!
T minus 8 minutes until I leave....
ACK!!!!!!!!!!!
9.01.2007
Kitchen: 90% done.
Alright. Here are some updated photos of Andrea's kitchen. We were able to clean a lot yesterday and by 8PM, she was hosting game night. Clearly the walls need to be painted again (actually.... sanded down, primed, blah blah blah blah) But here you can see the new counter tops that were put in, the cabinets, new hardware for the cabinets....Its truly a different kitchen. (Oh, and the floors look fantastic!!!!
Oh, and here is her living room:
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