Everybody wants to feel wanted so when they don't, it can totally ruin a day/week/year. I sometimes think, " Ok, its me. It's totally me. I did something wrong that I deserve this." So then I step back and see a pattern. Nobody gets excited to see me. Nobody misses me. Nobody comes over. It scares me. I know I've pulled away socially over the past 4-5 years and I'm trying to stop that. But seriously, unless its a big party, (wedding, Friendsgiving) I can't get anyone here (at MY place) to just hang out. This sounds so pitiful and I cannot believe I am blogging this, but its all true.
I just miss the old me.
