Hrm.

You know how sometimes you go through your day to day life thinking that you know exactly what you want...but in the end you know that you actually know nothing of what you want/need?

I'm starting to separate wants from needs. I'm starting to figure out what will be good for me in the long run and what will I just be satisfied with at the moment. I used to think decisions that affected other people in my life were so easy. But they are the worst ones to make. Sometimes it's easier than others (such as when Aaron and I got back together this last time....I couldn't NOT have him in my life which was a sure sign of how I really felt. Our relationship since then has been wonderfully awesome!) So that decision was the biggest easiest decision. But from there, its grasping what I need to do to better myself and the people around me.

For instance food. Is it important? Yes. Do I need to continue killing myself over it? No. Heck no. It's easier to eat out but in the end, is it doing me ANY good? No. I need to lose weight so I must start eating better. Its like I constantly tell myself that people will love me the way I am ..... which is true. But is it right for me to keep eating this way? NO. NO. NO. I'm overweight and SOMETHING needs to be done. I can't just throw my arms up and say, " Well, this is how I am. Take it or leave it ". I'm not healthy and I don't want to become a statistic.

I haven't been watching TV for the past 3 months. I think that's a good start. I haven't sat down at a TV and watched it until it was time for bed. I'm always up and doing something at least a tad bit better than turning my brain into even more mush. With so many trails and fun things to do around here, there should never be a time where I actually have time to watch it. (apple picking...pumpkin carving)

So I guess here is my New Years (Life?) Resolution. Here is to not just a year of bettering Tianna...but to a life time of taking baby steps to a me who makes better choices. Here is to a new beginning of loving who I am ...but continuing to improve myself. Here is to taking care of the ONE thing I should REALLY care about: my body, whether I like it or not, that I am forced to live with for the rest of my life.