I want it all....

List of things I have a huge distaste for at the moment:

1. Lump on breast that is turning black. 

2. Waking up with my joints terribly sore (Knees, elbows, shoulders)

3. The drive to get fit

4. Lack of groceries in my apartment

5. The fact that whenever I turn on the computer at home, 5 minutes later it turns to a blue "error" screen.

6. Andrea being sick with MRSA still? Its deadly...lets get our act together, doctors!!!!!

7. Grinding teeth at night

8. The fact that as singles we get an extra $800 from taxes, but won't see that until May or June. Oh, and its costing the tax payers 40 million dollars to send that money out. Yay to more money in my pocket now (read: June)....Booooo to it costing 40 million dollars.

That is all.

....be gone!

I am frustrated. Frustrated that stress happens. Holidays happen. LIFE happens. But more than anything, I am super frustrated that I happen.. I am frustrated in the fact that I can't seem to get a grip on this whole, " Be healthy! " phase I *want* to go through. I am constantly justifying everything in my head as I'm eating something bad. (Oh, Tianna...you can eat that. You haven't had pasta in 2 days!! People will like you fat or skinny)

While I know that's true, that doesn't help me when I've got a plate of pasta in front of me. I can't keep on telling myself that its ok to have pasta "just this once" "Its ok if I've over stuffed myself..."So needless to say, I'm fed up with myself.

The past few days I've been looking into NutriSystem. While I know it costs about $300 a month, I think that's pretty reasonable. I don't grocery shop, which forces me to grab a "quick" bite somewhere else, which adds up to probably be about the same. So I'm looking to start that up pretty soon here as summer is pretty much just around the corner!!!! No more sweatshirts in 90 degree weather!!

A couple of other things that are frustrating me lately: The lack of sound going in my right ear. For about 5 days now, my right ear has been "plugged". It feels like I have water in it but I can't seem to get anything out. I got some ear ache drops last night at Target, but that hasn't done anything to my ear yet. I wish I had health insurance for times like this. What if its an ear infection and it just gets worse and worse and worse?

Another health insurance issue: I have a lump on the side of my right breast. Its been there for about 2 1/2 months now. I'm not too worried that its anything serious because when it gets real big, I can generally squeeze stuff out of it.....But whatever it is, I want it gone. Like, 2 1/2 months ago.

And not to mention the pelvic pains I get. Not to gross out any guys that may stumble across this blog, but in 2007, I got my period a total of 3 times. February, August, and December. I must admit though, it has been nice not getting it.

Perhaps everything physically wrong with me all steams down to this: Eating right. Getting physical. Drinking more water. If that's true, I'm game. I'll get the NutriSystem and I'll get on the treadmill!!! But please let everything work out for the better!!!

Yellow Tail

It's been too long since my last post. I need to get better at updating this. If I expect a new blog all the time from others, I have to do it as well. le sigh.

Things around here are actually pretty boring as of late. I am down to one job at the DeuceTree. National Premium was just a temporary job and that ended before Christmas. So now I have a lot of extra time on my hands and I don't know what to do. For the longest time I thought that's what I wanted, but as it turns out, I'm just really bored now. So I think I'll have to look for another part time job in the mornings. I kind of like the idea of "shopping" for a part time job. I get to pick where I want a discount (Do I want to work at QDoba? Music Store? Spa?) So that aspect is kind of fun!! I went through a temp agency last time, and I've notified them that I want another part time job, but all they keep on finding me are full time jobs! Argh!

But other than that, I'm serious when I say that nothing is really happening. Beaky is, I think, thinking about moving out. She would still be paying rent here, but she's always over at Ryan's (her boyfriends)....I was about to say that her moving out would change a lot around here, but it wouldn't. We barely see her anyway! Haha. I haven't talked to her in awhile....Perhaps I should do that, eh?

Well, that's going to be it for now. I really don't know how to stress it enough that my life is extremely boring so there isn't much to talk about!

Oh. I keep on having Drumcorps/High School dreams lately. It's really strange. Hrmm...

Anyhoo,

Love, Peace and Afro Grease!

Can't get enough of him!!

New Phone

And it's super cool!

*sipping coffee*

What can I say? Christmas has already come and gone. I just can't believe it. I hate how fast time is going by!!!

Christmas this year seemed to be a lot more relaxing than past years. Perhaps it was the confidence I had in my gifts to others ....or just the time off from work. Whatever it was, I want to repeat that every year from now on.

Our Christmas adventures got cut short on the 23rd. We were set to go to our Third Annual KK (Kuzin Konnection) Christmas party, but the weather was not permitting. We saw too many people in the ditch! It was way too snowy and icy! We ended up turning around, stopping at Champs for dinner, and heading to Kathie's to play some Cribbage (LOVE IT!) and Poker.

Christmas Eve went off without a hitch! I woke up that morning and sang Happy Birthday to my Dad. He would have been 51 years old. 51!!! Crazy to think that. But Aaron and I had some last minute things to do before we headed over to Kathie's. We needed bruschetta for dinner so we decided to go to The Fresh Market. I loved every minute I was in there. I had gotten a $25 gift card to there from National Premium as a Christmas Gift. I find it a lot harder to pick out things when you are using a gift card. I never know what to get. Luckily we went in there with an idea of what we wanted to get, so it wasn't as hard.

We eventually ended up at Kathie's around 2:30PM. Just in time for some Cribbage!! Played several games of Cribbage and then it was time for dinner. Dinner consisted of Calzones (make your own) and salad. Doesn't sound like much, but the calzones always end up to be 75% of your plate. I don't believe anyone finished their Calzone!!

After that it was present opening time. Always fun. I hope everyone enjoyed what I got them!!

The next day, obviously, was Christmas Day. It was a lazy morning....until we realized we had to put the pedal to the metal so we could make it downtown in time!!! Its our new tradition where we go and volunteer at the Midwest Express Center for the Salvation Army. We serve dinner, hand out milk, clean up plates....its all really fun and I look forward to it every year!! But after that, we came back to Kathie's, played some Cribbage, and then had some dinner! Mmm....Fetticuine Alfredo. *drool*

Well, that's about all she wrote for today. I didn't plan on going into so much detail about everything, but there you have it. Nothing too exciting ever really happens anyway! Haha!!







PS. Am starting to really like coffee now. Ack!!

A-hahahahaha!

Ok, ok. I finally found a silly picture of Andrea to "Elf". Here is the final product.

I know, I know

I know we've seen this site around for awhile ....but its still funny, I think.


http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1621412335

Just a dose of yummy!

Quick post

I thought I would just give a quick post!!

Not much new is going on here. Holiday season is here! That always brings a smile to my face. I love this time of year because people are just generally happier. Granted, this is the LONGEST holiday of them all ....but its also the most joyous.

I've managed to get some of Holiday shopping done already. I, at least, know what I am getting people for Christmas this year. Now I just have to go out and get it. There could be a few hiccups along the way in getting them (finding time), but should be pretty quick and painless.

I haven't worked very much in the past week at DeuceTree. One of the bartenders, Corey, had injured his knee about two weeks ago so he's been out for a good chunk of time. Which is bad for Corey, good for the other bartenders. I had found myself picking up extra shifts since he was out. But I think he's back and ready to serve (and needing hours) so that may explain the gap of work there.

I know I seem to only write about work lately, but that's all I really seem to do. BUT......that also gave me Employee of the Week at the DeuceTree!! Woot! (Woot is now in the dictionary....look it up!) We also had an inspection last week (I spent a lot of hours cleaning the bar for it) and the bar got a 100%....which has never happened. So I feel good about that right now.

But most importantly, and most exciting, is something that just happened within the past couple of days. I got contacted by a woman named Andrea for something amazing. I don't know a whole lot about what is going to happen or what exactly my role (or what I can do for this cause) will be ...but its for Animal Nation. Its a non-profit organization for animals who have been separated. Its almost like a YouTube for Animals. Its lead by PG (MY MAN!). I don't know much, like I said, but I will probably be posting a lot more on this within the next couple of months and letting you know what you can do to help. Seriously. Helping animals? Where do I sign?

Ice Day!!

No work for me today due to the snow/ice storm. WOOT!

PG

As Lori kindly commented before, I have not had an update in awhile. While I know that I need to post about whats going on in my life ....I will save that post for a later date. But for now . . .I am going to post about just one thing: My man, Peter Gabriel.

I am currently watching the Secret World Live DVD again. What I love about Peter Gabriel is the production of his concerts. Now, if I were to ever go see a PG concert, I wouldn't have a drop of alcohol just so I could soak all of it in. Whereas if I go see a Dave Matthews concert....apparently I'll drink until I can barely stand up. I love both equally (ok, PG more)....but since I've seen multiple Dave concerts and not one really sticks out in my mind...I think its a lack of production. Its like getting a steak on a piece of cardboard or a steak on a silver platter.

So I guess now its just getting tickets to go see him sometime when he's in the states. Which may be a long time away. But how ever much it costs...or however far I have to travel...I will see him. Who is in?


(Sorry, Lori, that it isn't a long post or much of anything other than my bizarre fascination with Peter Gabriel and his music)

Baby Its Cold Outside

Its currently snowing. I love it. We live on a corner of a busy busy street and normally you can hear the sounds of the cars zooming by. Not today. Its peaceful out there. Cars are still going by, but there is a silence out there right now. If you've ever been around a real first snow, you know what I'm talking about.


Shhh....

Stupid Game Show Answers

Hahaha!

OH.MY.GOD.

The title/picture says it all. Tonight while working, a man came into the hotel with a hand grenade. He pulled the pin. And this is how it all went down:

So a couple of workers (who were not actually working, just visiting in the bar), and a couple of guests and I were just hanging out in the bar. We were laughing, joking around ..just having a good time! Things were running smoothly. Then from outside comes running in our manager, Mikki. She's screaming, " GET OUT!!! GET OUT NOW!! ". We are all pretty shocked so we stood there with a look on our faces like, " Are you for real? " She starts screaming, " A MAN HAS A GRENADE!! GET OUT NOW!!!!! THIS ISN'T A JOKE!!!" The next thing I remember is running down the hallway towards the front desk hearing Micki saying, " WRONG WAY TIANNA! HE'S RIGHT THERE! TURN AROUND!!! ". So I BOLT back the other way and run across the street. (while thinking that my smokes are inside. Great, Tianna. Way to have your head in the game.) After waiting for about five minutes and watching the man exit the building, we then walked to the valet area and saw all the cop cars swarming in and watched them pull their guns screaming, " Put your hands up!!! " He then went into the Hilton and I'm not quite sure what happened in there, but they got him.

Poor Micki. Apparently he had walked in to our front desk guy, Tim, and said, " Give me your money and nobody will get hurt. " Tim was confused and was like, " Wait, what? " He repeated it again and showed him the grenade. Tim said he couldn't get into the register without a manager and the man said he would wait while he called the manager. So Tim went into the back office and called the Restaurant and told Chris to call 911. Chris, a server, got the call and ran to get Micki. Mikki and Willie (a cook) then walked up to the front desk to see what was going on. At that point, when Mikki got up to the front desk, the man repeated what he had said and then pulled the pin from the grenade right in front of Mikki. (DEAR LORD!!!!!) She then bolts out the sliding doors and runs around to the other side of the hotel to come tell us to get out.

I'm still just in awe of what happened. We had detectives coming in and out, interviewing everyone. Apparently the man had gone to two other places and pulled the same thing. I'm just glad that everyone is ok. The front desk guy was pretty shaken up about it all. He couldn't stop crying...but who can blame him!?!? He just saw someone pull a hand grenade ....which you can only assume is live.

Wow.

Just.....wow.

Question

So why is it that Britney Spears is always on the verge of a total breakdown? Seems to me that she's having it right now, right?




And yes, I did just do a post on Britney Spears.

IT'S HERE!! IT'S HERE!!!

THE DAY HAS COME!!!

Got my hair did ....again

And I will get pictures. It's darker. It says "fall", I think. Perhaps after this weekends festivities (WOOOT!) I will post some pictures.

Did I just really do a post about how I will be posting later?

le sigh.

I did.

Hahahaha!

Sorry Lori and Andrea, but you have to admit this is hilarious!

*gasp*

I may or may not have a slight panic attack.

I just got my hair chopped off!!!!!

3 years

I'm not going to write some long, weepy blog about how much I feel my family has been wronged about my Dad's death. So I shall take a cue from Andrea . . . .

Three years ago today (October 29th, 2004), my father passed away. Sad as it was, it wouldn't have lead me to where I am today. Not that my life is any better or worse than it was then, but I'm here aren't I?

I never wanted to ever live in Milwaukee (or surrounding areas). Moving down here was almost a constant reminder of WHY I was here. But I didn't get real comfortable living here until August of last year. I had taken a vacation with all my stuff (ha.), and realized what I had down here. I have family down here. I have a place I can always run to when I want to feel comfort. I have my life here. I wanted to escape this area because I felt that there was nothing left for me here. But I was SO wrong.

I firmly believe that everything in life happens for a reason. While I don't want to agree with that reasoning 100% of the time...I still think it rings true. There is something to be taken away from every situation. Whether the lesson shows its face 1 year, 5 years, or 10 years down the line...something is to be learned from three years ago today. Now I don't know what the lesson is just yet...or maybe I have learned from it already, but whatever it is, its only for the better.

But I still miss him terribly, as anyone would. I get glimpses of him through other males all the time. (Sounds strange, I know) It could be a gesture, a sound, a laugh, a point ...whatever it is. Since I can't have him, I am happy to see him through other people. Perhaps that's the "big man upstairs" way of still letting me see/remember him.

Zzzz....

16 hour work day. Its building character, right?

Stop!

More and more lately I am finding the urge to quit smoking. Until not too recently, I've never really wanted to quit. I understood/understand that smoking is not good for you (how many times has everyone on the planet heard this?) But when does it really start to sink in?

For the past week or so, I've been picturing my life without the addiction. I am fearful of putting on weight (lame excuse, I know) and I'm also fearful of going out to a bar and drinking. While I rarely go out, I can see how I would light up while drinking and try to justify it. I'm not good with addictions and I seem to find the ones that are most detrimental to my health.

I also see that both my parents smoked. While I can only remember seeing my Dad smoke once, it echos through my head. I'm super glad they quit (they just don't seem to be the type of people who were smokers?) ....but I can't help but wonder if it was something I unconsciously picked up when I was younger?

While I was working at Disney, I had stopped for three days. (I did put "quit" instead of stopped, but that wouldn't be correct). One of the guys who lived upstairs from me said his Mom gave him a bunch of patches so that he could stop smoking. Didn't work for him, but it did for me! I didn't have an urge to smoke at all. I started up again because I was just bored. I lived with three Mormons. Enough said.

I guess the next step is figuring out how I want to go about this. I took a quiz online and this is what it said:

You do not have a strong physical dependence on nicotine, so you could consider quitting cold turkey—or without a medication to help you manage withdrawal symptoms. You can pick a day convenient for you to stop smoking on your own. Even without a physical need, you could still have strong urges to smoke. That’s because smoking is both an addiction and a habit.

*sigh*

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!

Hrm. The fire alarm here has been going off for about 10 minutes now. We heard some emergency vehicles come this way.....So there may be a fire in the building....


*grabs glass of wine and bolts*




***Edit**** There was no fire. Apparently the alarms go off quite often due to kids who like to touch things.

Taken from an e-mail.....

....between Andrea and I today about changing my hair color:

Me: Darker? Maybe with some red low lights? Not "red head" color ...but a deep deep red?

Andrea: i don't know why people keep thinking they should go redder. red heads are going to be extinct for a reason, keep it that way.

Blue October

I'm here at work (DoubleTree) a little bit early today. I met with Andrea for lunch today at Guss's downtown. Great food. But I haven't seen Andrea in over a week (ACK!) and it was nice to finally catch up. I've been super busy with working both places. I guess I should feel blessed with the hours I'm getting because I do need the money. I'll be working 10 straight days here before I have a day off from here. And even then I'm not going to even really have it "off". We're heading to Kentucky for the TEAM seminar.

As I was driving by the DoubleTree on my way to meet Andrea, I noticed a bus. I love seeing a bus here and wondering exactly who is staying here. When I got in here I, of course, had to ask. And it was just the group I was hoping for.......Blue October. Nice. The front desk was like, " They're sleeping right now ....but if you catch them, I'm sure they'll put you on the list for the show tonight. " Hahaha. If only.

Well, its 2:27 right now and the "business center" here is getting a bit warm and a little full. I shouldn't really be on here anyway, but they were nice enough to let me....so I shouldn't take advantage of it. I can atleast go outside and cool off and take my sweet time getting ready.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and enjoys the cool weather!

Prostitution

Ha. Totally saw a bust go down tonight. 4 undercover cops and a sting "girl". Totally worth going to work tonight. Totally.

Tomorrow I work 12 hours. 12hrs!!!! I close the bar and then I'm up 4 hours later. Oi. Can't wait! ............NOT! (Trying to bring back "not!"...is it working?)


PS. No misspelled words! Not that it was incredibly arduous to spell what I did....but whatever.

So here is a question

Alright. We all agree I need money, correct? Let's just say that its a known fact across the board. So I have two jobs right now and they are both going really well. I have the steady, mindless job at National Premium that is part time mornings. Then I have the night job at Double Tree. We recently had a bartender quit, leaving 3 bartenders which means more hours for me. I have been on the schedule at Double Tree as just opening shifts on the weekdays since I have to get up early. But that just leaves the other two bartenders (Nick and Corey) with pretty much all closing shifts. So I'm getting a lot of pressure to quit my morning job at National Premium so that I can work more closing and relieve Nick and Corey. I guess I'm just in a pickle. What do I do? Do I quit my morning job so that when I work the closing shifts and I get home at 1:30am, I'm not waking up 5 hours later to go to my part time job? Or do I pick up those closing shifts and quit my other job and hope that the tips involved in closing makes up for my pay at National Premium?

I hope this all makes sense and ANY advice will be welcomed!!

The battle

So I weigh myself today and the scale hasn't moved. While I'm glad it hasn't moved in one direction, I am saddened that it hasn't moved in the other direction. I've been really good lately by eating smaller portions and just less food period. But what gives? My clothes are fitting a lot better (I think?), but the scale isn't saying so. Why is the scale not showing my 2 months of eating less?

Oh and...

...last night Aaron and I were doing laundry (12 loads. No joke.) and we counted how many towels we have for the both of us.



18 towels.




*sigh*